One way to show patriotism is to put it in your mouth.
That’s a weird thing to say.
Happy Thursday, friends! ALL THE GOOD VIBES needed today because I’m off to look at two cars and hopefully bring one of them home as my new Polly. I’m going at the negotiations by myself, and while I have haggled before, I won’t have anyone by my side as a sort of silent confidence boost.
Guess it’s all coming from within this time around.
Thankfully, I’ve a few of a batch of these All-American Monster Cookies in my fridge as a post-stress treat. Hopefully, a victory treat, too. These beauties are serious cookies, fellas. Loaded up with oats and potato chips for an especially chewy, decadent texture, and of course accessorized with lots of patriotic M&Ms and gooey chocolate chips.
They’re quick, HUGE, and easy to prep and serve for your July 4th parties! Because, as the bros say, we go big in ‘Merica.
The Monster Under Your Bed
Or rather, in your oven.
No chill, no fuss, plenty of joy – that’s the formula of these babies. They start and finish like most of my cookie recipes, so let’s get baking.
First, cream butter with brown sugar and sugar, then whip in two eggs and vanilla extract. Add in flour, old-fashioned oats, crushed potato chips, baking soda, and salt. For the chips, any plain salted type will do, no matter if they’re classic, kettle-cooked, or wavy. Just please don’t use BBQ chips or some shit.
Fold in chocolate chips and patriotic M&Ms with a spatula.
Big portions are key here. Use a 1/4 cup measure or an ice cream scoop (for the latter, you’ll only need to fill it about halfway with dough) to deposit mounds of dough into your palm. Roll into a ball and set onto a parchment-lined baking sheet.
Do not crowd your baking sheet. These cookies are massive. I fit four onto my trays.
Dot a couple more M&Ms and chocolate chips into each dough ball. Bake 13-15 minutes, until the edges are golden and set up. A longer than usual baking time is essential for these cookies because they are so fucken giant.
Cool on the baking sheet for about 8-10 minutes or so, then move to a wire rack to finish cooling. Sprinkle with a touch of flaky salt, if you’d like. Resist the urge to eat all of them at once.
I know, it’s tempting.
Leftovers? Cookies always store beautifully. In an airtight container, expect them to stay good at room temperature for 5 days, the fridge for 7-10 days, and the freezer for up to 3 months.
Enjoy, kids!
Tried this recipe out? Leave a rating and comment below with your thoughts, and don’t forget to come say hi on Instagram and show me what you made!
Me want cookie:
Big Chewy Oatmeal Raisin Cookies
Chewy Coconut Chocolate Chip Cookies
Espresso Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies
all-american monster cookies
Ingredients
- 2 sticks butter, softened
- 3/4 cup dark brown sugar
- 3/4 cup sugar
- 2 large eggs, at room temperature
- 2 tsp vanilla extract
- 2 cups all purpose flour
- 1 1/2 cups potato chips, crushed
- 1 cup old fashioned oats
- 1 tsp baking soda
- 1/2 tsp kosher salt
- 1 cup red, white, and blue M&Ms
- 1 cup dark chocolate chips
Instructions
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a large baking sheet with parchment.
- In a bowl, cream the butter, brown sugar, and regular sugar until light and fluffy, about 2-3 minutes. Whip in the eggs, one at a time, then the vanilla. Add the flour, potato chips, oats, baking soda, and salt. Fold in the M&Ms and chocolate chips. Do not overmix.
- Scoop rounded 1/4 cup-sized mounds of dough and roll into a ball. Place on the prepared baking sheet, leaving about two inches of space between each. Press a few more chocolate chips and/or M&Ms into the each cookie. Bake 13-15 minutes, rotating the pan once halfway through baking time. Remove from the oven and cool on the baking sheet.
- Enjoy a few warm (ooooh yeahhh) with a sprinkle of flaky salt, or cool completely, cover in a tupperware or ziptop bag, and store for later.
