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The Foul-Mouth Gourmet

food that gives no f*cks

Beverages

pineapple mango iced green tea

April 24, 2026

Pineapple iced tea is sounding mighty fine-apple today. Hahahahaha oooohkay. Happy Friday, folks! We made it, woo! This week felt much more normal…

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Desserts

classic chocolate chunk zucchini bread

April 23, 2026

Why is it that I always forget about zucchini? It’s one of my favorite vegetables! Happy Thursday, folks! And yes, our poor phallic…

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Sidebars / April 10, 2023

sidebar | life and training 4.3 – 4.9

Hoppy belated Easter, ya’ll! I didn’t grow up in a religious, or even spiritual, household. Our only real associations with the churches nearby…

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Desserts / April 7, 2023

triple lemon layer cake

When life throws you lemons, throw the ones you don’t need back (aim for the shnoz), then bake cake. I’m always fucking terrified…

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Main Course / April 6, 2023

no-boil spinach artichoke mac n’ cheese

Holy sheeeeeeeeeeeit. Aight, I originally planned lasagna. If you read last week’s Sidebar you might have been keyed in on that plan. I’m…

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Main Course / April 5, 2023

lemon garlic shrimp and asparagus with honey butter polenta

Get ready for some funky-smelling pee! Yep, sexy way to start a recipe writeup. Go self. I was in a bit of a…

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Main Course / April 4, 2023

crispy greek tofu pita bowls with garlic feta sauce

I can’t believe it took me this fucking long to put a good Mediterranean-inspired dish on FMG. I have about six meal prep…

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Sidebars / April 3, 2023

sidebar | life and training 3.27 – 4.2

I am a sucker for a good morning ritual. I’m sitting here now, Monday morning, wrapping up this Sidebar with a hot coffee…

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Beverages / April 1, 2023

peanut butter fudge protein shake

When I was a wee beginner distance runner, this was what I drank after every long run. Ah, to be an enthusiastic novice…

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Desserts / March 31, 2023

milk chocolate banana mini egg cupcakes

Easter intensifies. My brain feels like mushed banana today. It wasn’t a particularly stressful day, but maybe I was so go-go-go that I’ve…

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Main Course / March 30, 2023

one skillet thai basil coconut curry salmon

When you have salmon and no idea what the fuck to do with it, make curry. Duh. I realized, when pursuing that question…

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Main Course / March 29, 2023

30 minute mongolian meatballs

Ain’t messing with no fussy-ass balls today. We only got 30 minutes, peeps! I joke a lot about balls and make inappropriate jokes…

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Foul Mouth Latest

  • sidebar | life and training 4.20 – 4.26
  • pineapple mango iced green tea
  • classic chocolate chunk zucchini bread
  • dill pickle chickpea salad sliders
  • sidebar | life and training 4.13 – 4.19
Pimento cheese dip, but make it higher protein. Wh Pimento cheese dip, but make it higher protein. Who else is gearing up for the Kentucky Derby next weekend?!
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