If you like it dirty, you’ve come to the right place. *Wiggles eyebrows.*
Happy Tuesday, all. We’re getting a bit filthy in the kitchen with easy Dirty Martini Crostini. This transitional appetizer will sustain your nibbly needs through these final days of summer into autumn and the holidays.
The moniker “dirty martini” has nill to do with soiling a cocktail. Rather, the silly adjective refers to a certain amount of olive brine stirred into the classic vodka cocktail. For this dish, I took the components of a dirty martini and used them for a salty, citrusy marinade for a buttload of green olives.
Said buttloaf of green olives is drizzled onto a blue cheese spread swirled atop crusty, toasted bread. In less than half an hour you have a simple, gorgeous platter, and hopefully some 21+ jokes to serve alongside.
Dirty and Flirty
The flavors of the dirty martini serve as our olive marinade. 15 minutes is all it takes for a delightful experience, but a longer marinade will bring out the beautiful palate even more.
For the olives, I used unstuffed green olives. The blue cheese spread is my mimic for the oft-used garnish, so I don’t see the need to buy blue cheese olives as well.
Throw said olives in a bowl and stir with lots of olive oil, plain vodka, dry vermouth, olive brine, lemon zest, smashed garlic, and a big pinch of salt and pepper. Let sit on the counter while you prep your other components, or around 15 minutes.
Tip: Do not buy olives packed in oil. Too much oil, and you need the salty ocean-like quality to really enhance the crostini’s namesake.
While your olives stew in their bath (don’t be weird and stare at them, you sick bastard), make the blue cheese spread. Throw into a food processor some blue cheese (gorgonzola is my favorite, but any variety works!), cream cheese, olive brine, and a pinch of salt and pepper. With the blades whirring, stream in some olive oil.
Scrape down the side of the food processor bowl ever so often if the cheeses start climbing up the walls. The cheese will soften and smooth out in 2-3 minutes, so be patient! If it’s too clumpy, add a tablespoon or so more olive oil. Want it brinier? Another spoonful of that, too. Why not? Make it filthy.
Grab a crusty loaf of baguette or ciabatta, slice into fairly thick hunks (think 1/2 inch or so), and toast to your liking and with your preferred method. I usually brush both sides of the breads with olive oil and broil for a couple minutes per side to get them nice and crunchy.
Spread your bread with the blue cheese, spoon a few olives atop (be sure to get a good bit of the marinade, too!), and finish with fresh basil or oregano and a crack or two of pepper.
Gameday and holidays MADE!
Leftovers? I recommend storing your ingredients separately rather than assembled. The blue cheese sauce will keep up to 5 days and the olives up to 14 days – they preserve very well in the oil-vodka blend! The oil will solidify in the fridge, so bring the olive to room temp for 5-10 minutes, stir, then assemble the crostini as directed.
Recommended olive brands? I really like the Mina pitted green olives!
Cheers and enjoy! Alongside an actual dirty martini, perhaps?
Tried this recipe out? Leave a rating and comment below with your thoughts, and don’t forget to come say hi on Instagram and show me what you made!
Olive ya’ll:
One Skillet Greek Olive Shrimp and Rice with Marinated Tomatoes
Whipped Goat Cheese with Herb Marinated Olives
Garlic Herb Baked Feta and Olives
Olive Cheese Pizza with Feta Stuffed Crust
dirty martini crostini
Ingredients
- 2 cups green olives (an unstuffed variety)
- 1/3 cup + 2-3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil, divided
- 1/4 cup vodka
- 1 tbsp dry vermouth
- 3-4 tbsp olive brine, not oil!, divided
- 6 cloves garlic, smashed
- 2 tsp lemon zest
- 6 oz blue cheese, such as gorgonzola
- 4 oz cream cheese, softened
- 1 loaf ciabatta or crusty baguette
- fresh herbs, for serving
Instructions
- In a medium bowl, combine the olives with 1/3 cup olive oil, the vodka, 2 tablespoons of the olive brine, the vermouth, garlic, lemon zest, and a big pinch each of salt and pepper. Stir. Let sit at room temperature for 10-15 minutes while you prep the rest of the components.
- In a food processor, combine the blue cheese, cream cheese, 1 tablespoon of olive brine, and a pinch of salt and pepper. With the processor running, drizzle in 2 tablespoons of olive oil. Continue to whip until the cheese is very creamy and smooth, about 2-3 minutes, stopping the machine and scraping down the sides of the bowl as needed to reincorporate.
- Slice the ciabatta or baguette. Brush both sides with a bit of olive oil, and toast under the broiler (or with your preferred toasting method) for 1-2 minutes until golden.
- Spread the blue cheese onto the crostini and top with 4 or 5 marinated olives. Serve with fresh herbs!
