cupid’s cake pops

Keep reading to hear my ultimate verdict of the cake pop creation process.

Cake pops seem to be the pinnacle of the teenage craving nowadays. Maybe I’m out of touch (well, I am) but since about 5 or so years ago I never noticed the intense popularity of the cake on a stick.

It kinda makes sense though. They’re practical, easy to transport, often swirled in color or sprinkled with funfetti. I’ve always found them rather endearing, even if I don’t often indulge. At $4 a pop it’s hard to justify.

So, I took matters into my own hands, as I do, and tried out a batch of Cupid’s Cake Pops to really see how the hype holds up. In the spirit of Valentine’s Day upcoming, I themed these duo-flavored cuties in a pink, white, and red scheme, with various options for decorating depending on the vibes you feel on the day of creation.

We’ve got here my strawberry and chocolate cakes, crumbled and mixed with buttercream as the “glue” to hold the ball together, and lots of white melting chips to coat. It’s a project worthy of the whole family’s involvement. Make it like an assembly line, and time will breeze away faster than if you made them all yourself. Because yes, they are a time investment, with several pauses for chilling and hardening.

Never fear – I’m here to hold your hand from start to finish. Yes, I mean that in the weirdest way possible. *Strokes your fingertips seductively*

Pop It Lock It Polka Dot It

Countrify then hip hop it.

Onward. For these cake pops I used my dark chocolate and my strawberry layer cake recipes. I almost went the whole Neopolitan route but not gonna lie, I’m glad I didn’t, especially because I finalized this recipe on the day of my 22 miler and my fatigue was real after that affair and standing vigil at the counter decorating these bad boys.

The strawberry layer cake is already halved for you, to make one 9-inch layer. The dark chocolate cake halves pretty cleanly except the eggs: you’re going to want to use two eggs. 1.5 eggs isn’t exactly possible and honestly why the fuck would you even try.

Follow the directions for both recipes – you can bake each layer at the same time, just in different pans – and let the cakes cool completely. This part of the process will take about 40 minutes or so depending on how fast you work in the kitchen, plus an extract hour for cooling the cakes. So no, the estimated time in the recipe card isn’t fully accurate. I’d plan for about 3 hours of work including the chilling time.

Then, the buttercream. This recipe makes about 1 cup or so, which is perfect for our purposes. Beat together softened butter, vanilla extract, powdered sugar, and a bit of heavy cream. If the frosting is too thick, add another 1-2 tablespoons cream to achieve a fluffy consistency.

Now, work with one cake layer at a time, doesn’t matter which. Crumbled the cooled cake into a large bowl, then dollop in 1/2 of the frosting. Stir until the cake crumbles are completely coated (ha, alliteration).

Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper. Roll mounds of cake into heaping 1 tablespoon-sized balls and place onto the sheet. Repeat with the remaining cake and the second layer once the first is complete. Refrigerate the balls for an hour, or the freezer for about 20-30 minutes. I kept mine in the fridge overnight because I did this recipe in fragments for my own sanity.

Dippedy-Do-Da

Now, to the fun part: decorating!

Make sure you have lots of cake pop sticks on hand (oft sold as lollipop sticks). Any length is fine.

You’ll also need something to hold up the cake pops as you mount and decorate them. I bought a big slab of styrofoam from the craft store, but people online have all kinds of DIY tricks using egg trays, boxes, and other contraptions. Specialty cake pop stands also exist, if you plan to do this often or want to present them more prettily.

Third, make sure you have lots of pretty nonpareils, jimmies, sprinkles, freeze-dried strawberry powder, and other such embellishments.

For the coating, I used white candy melts and dyed half of them pink.

Microwave the candy melts in a narrow-sided bowl or glass (I used a 2 cup glass measuring cup) for 1 minute, stir, then melt an additional 20-30 seconds if needed.

Dip a cake pop stick about 1/4 inch into the candy melts, then shank a cake pop onto the stick and stand up on your styrofoam or whatever you’re using. Repeat with about half of the cake pops. The other half we’re going to color pink!

Once the pops have stabilized for 5 minutes or so, dunk one at a time into the candy melts, coating the whole pop. Let excess drip back into the bowl and set upright on your stand. Sprinkle immediately with whatever adornment you please. Repeat with the rest of the cake pops you’ve set aside to use for the white melts.

For the pink, simply add 1-2 drops of red or pink food dye to the remainder of the candy melts, and heat as directed above. Repeat the process of dipping-resting-dipping-decorating with all that you have left. Put on some good tunes, shake your booty and hum along, and just enjoy bringing the little beauties alive.

And the mess. Enjoy the inevitable mess, while you’re at it.

So long as the candy melts are totally hardened (which takes about 10 minutes in this cold-ass air, up to 30 if it’s warmer), the cake pops store wonderfully in the fridge for up to a week with not much deviation from the aesthetic appeal. I’m still eating mine and they’re about two weeks old. Heh. You can also freeze them for up to 3 months!

Okay, okay, so my opinion of homemade cake pops?

Pain in the fucking ass. Either go buy them in the store as an occasional treat, or fucken bake a layer cake or cupcakes. Way simpler. I wanted to chuck these out the window about 15 times in the duration of creation.

But they’re pretty as anything, so I won’t shame their finickiness too hard.

Tried this recipe out? Leave a rating and comment below with your thoughts, and don’t forget to come say hi on Instagram and show me what you made!

Yeahhhhh let’s make cupcakes instead:

S’mores Cupcakes

Strawberry Vanilla Surprise Cupcakes

Salted Caramel Chocolate Cupcakes

Red Velvet Cupcakes