blueberry feta cobb salad
When life throws you a wrongfully towed car, you pick it up, have an anxiety attack all morning, then make a big fat salad.
I alluded to my Towed Car Situation in this week’s Sidebar, but to give the Cliff Notes: neighbor called for a tow, the car he needed towed was gone before the trucks arrived, so they decided to just snatch my vehicle instead. Not my neighbor’s fault at all, and we’re working together to get things righted. He was very nice and genuinely apologetic for it.
This all happened before dawn on Monday, so naturally I buzzed through my morning routine in a total tizzy, and what was supposed to be a peaceful time of day was wretched instead. I woke J up when I discovered my vehicle missing, so we were both pissed off about the scenario. Got my car, ate a hurried toast breakfast, and ran off to start the morning.
I did not want to cook, or do anything, but I figured wallowing in my own anxiety sweat wasn’t exactly helpful either. So I drove to Target, spent FAR too much on groceries, and laid out the components for this huge, green, summery cobb salad. Did my best to make a decent thing out of a real shit thing.
I do quite love this bowl. I got the idea one fine 4 am when I was thinking about salads, and yesterday felt like the right day to tackle the recipe. I had no energy or willpower to cook exotic foods, and this was perfect for what my brain needed.
Paired up a bowl of this vegetarian goodness with a big pile of crispy fries. Good shit. We’ve got big plump blueberries, salty feta, creamy avocado, a smattering of tofu “bacon” (a favorite comfort food of mine), boiled eggs, and a big hit of homemade Greek yogurt ranch. All my favorite things this time of year. As always, regular bacon is appropriate if you eat meat!
Tof’
Of course, if you’re using a regular bacon, skip the tofu prep shit I’m about to write, and cook up your slabs of bacon however you wish.
If you do want to explore the tofu bacon, I assure you this formula has been tried and tasted MANY times over, by several folk, so it’s damn good. Marinate strips of super-firm tofu with soy sauce, maple syrup, smoked paprika, chili powder, and black pepper, then bake at 450 until nice and crispy.
If you don’t buy super/extra firm tofu and opt for firm, that’s okay, but you’ll need to press the block first. I make a homemade “press” with a plate, paper towels, the tofu, more towels, another plate, and a skillet. Let the block squish for about 15 minutes or so.
You won’t need all of the bacon you make, probably about half the batch. I reserve the rest for nibbles throughout the week! Or, various other bacony goodies – pasta salad, sliders, or breakfast wraps, say.
BLOOOOOOOB
The blooob-birds are out, folks.
I’ve really never seen a blueberry cobb salad before, though I’m sure they exist. I’ve been buying tomatoes out the ass recently and wanted something different since 90% of my queued recipes involve tomatoes. Not that I’m bitching, they’re pretty glorious foods I can’t wait to share.
Homemade ranch is infinitely superior to storebought, so I always recommend you try out my yumbo Greek yogurt version. Very simple: yogurt, mayo (I use vegan but whatever type works), lemon juice, dried parsley, dried dill, garlic and onion powders, and buttermilk. As always, adjust the salt and pepper to your liking, and feel welcome to add more buttermilk to thin the shit out.
The rest of the salad is very simple and straightforward. Chop up some romaine, an avocado or two, some boiled eggs – I was TOTALLY lazy and bought pre-peeled eggs, oops – crumble that bacon, and cube some feta.
I like to toss everything together in a big ole bowl except the eggs, feta, and dressing, and a few garnishes like basil and pickled onions. Those I reserve for final assembly, or when I divide the salad into individual bowls. The eggs will probably disintegrate into unrecognizable shards if you take the tongs to them, and I prefer mine to be somewhat in tact.
This salad is utterly gorgeous, an amazing main or a blissful side course. Cooling on a hot day, but filling. As I mentioned, crispy fries are dope on the side, or a nice slice of toasted baguette and butter. Let this dish be a comfort when your clouds are especially thick.
Tried this recipe out? Leave a rating and comment below with your thoughts, and don’t forget to come say hi on Instagram and show me what you made!
Summery salady shit:
Basic-Ass House Salad with Crunchy Italian Croutons
Marinated Tomato Caprese Salad with Creamy Garlic Dressing
Spicy Blackened Shrimp and Avocado Greek Salad
Strawberry Fields Avocado Quinoa Salad with Poppyseed Vinaigrette
blueberry feta cobb salad
Ingredients
- 1 block super firm tofu
- 1/3 cup soy sauce
- 2 tbsp maple syrup
- 2 tsp smoked paprika
- 1 tsp chili powder
- 1/4 tsp black pepper
- 6 cups mixed greens (I used romaine)
- 1 cup fresh blueberries
- 6 oz feta cheese, cubed
- 3-4 hard boiled eggs, sliced
- 1-2 avocados, sliced
- pickled onions and fresh basil to serve
greek yogurt ranch
- 1/2 cup plain whole milk Greek yogurt
- 1/4 cup vegan mayonnaise (or regular)
- 1/4-1/3 cup buttermilk
- 2 tbsp lemon juice
- 1 tbsp dried parsley
- 1 tsp dried dill
- 1 tsp garlic powder
- 1 tsp onion powder
Instructions
- Pat the tofu dry and slice into thin strips. Place onto a large, lightly greased baking sheet.
- Preheat oven to 450 degrees. In a bowl, whisk together the soy sauce, maple syrup, smoked paprika, chili powder, and black pepper. Pour the marinade over the tofu, flipping the strips to coat both sides. I find it helpful to base any loose marinade over the tofu strips. Let marinate 15-20 minutes.
- Transfer the baking sheet to the oven and roast for 18-20 minutes until the tofu is crispy and firm. Let cool on the baking sheet – the tofu will continue to crisp.
- To make the dressing: in a bowl, stir together the yogurt, mayonnaise, lemon juice, parsley, dill, garlic powder, and onion powder. Stir in 1/4 cup of the buttermilk, adding more as needed to thin to your desired consistency. Taste and adjust salt and pepper.
- Add the greens to large mixing bowl. Toss with the blueberries, feta, avocado, and 1 cup of crumbled "bacon." Top with the boiled eggs, pickled onions, and basil. Divide into bowls and drizzle with dressing, serving the rest on the side.
