Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Lightly grease a baking sheet with oil, or line with parchment.
Whisk together the brown sugar, maple syrup, bourbon (if using), cinnamon, chili powder, and instant espresso. Pour the mixture over the walnuts and toss until evenly coated. Spread deez nuts in a single layer on the baking sheet. Bake 8-10 minutes, tossing once halfway through, until fragrant and toasty. Keep your eyes on these fuckers cos they will burn FAST.
In a bowl or jar, whisk together the olive oil, lemon juice, apple cider vinegar, honey, dijon mustard, poppy seeds, and a pinch each of salt and pepper. Taste and adjust seasonings as desired.
Add the kale to a very large bowl. Pour in 2-3 tablespoons of the dressing and massage the leaves until softened and darkened. Toss with the arugula, mint, raspberries, avocado, nuts, and feta cheese.
Divide the salad into bowls and serve with extra dressing on the side.
Notes
*To make ahead: Omit the avocado and add when serving.*To make vegan: Omit the feta cheese and/or use a vegan alternative!